Mamamia's Bern Morley wrote a beautiful piece we think all woman should read.
10 questions every woman should ask her mother (before it's too late).
"The night Mum died was both surreal and yet, perfectly expected. I’m not really sure that can make sense unless you’ve watched someone actually stop being, right there in front of you. It’s both terrifying and also, an unbelievable privilege.
I focused so much on her illness back at the time, that I rarely wrote about her as a person. I still don’t feel like I asked enough questions, knew enough about her childhood beyond what I can piece together with her scarce voiced recollections and photos. I did though, know what she was like as a mother.
So here is a list of questions I wished I’d taken the time to ask.
1. Can I have the recipe?
It’s a well-known fact that Mums are just ridiculously clever at making delicious food and making it appear effortless. My Mum’s Fried Rice couldn’t be beaten even if I visited every restaurant in China. Her Curried Chicken made from scratch and without ever needing to refer to a recipe, I can still almost taste. And don’t even get me STARTED on her chocolate cake. But because all of these were in her head and made from memory, I cannot recreate them, no matter how much I’ve tried. Why didn’t I ask her for these when I had the chance?
2. What was your life like before you had children?
As children, we can be fairly self-involved to the point of ignorance. Oblivious to the fact that before we entered their world, they actually had a “life”. And just like you and I, it was more than likely, an amazing point in time. Get to know your parents better by understanding who they were before you came along
3. Was dad the one?
I guess we all like to believe that when we were conceived, we were done so with love. Although, you know, if I’m honest, I don’t really want to think too much about the actual logistics of this. What I’m trying to say is that you need to know if there was perhaps “the one that got away”. Most of us have that one person we stalk on Facebook wonder about. The one that broke your heart. Maybe your Mum has her own story. Maybe she doesn’t. At least ask the question.
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